Added: Cyndy Sartin - Date: 17.05.2022 04:36 - Views: 11103 - Clicks: 8967
Well, this is never going to happen, you might think. Should I actually say something? Draw a diagram? In that case, please accept my virtual applause. Below are the reasons why this simple approach can be highly effective. Expressing how you want to feel might be an easier way into the conversation. A lot of us have shame about our sexual desires.
Even if you know you want your partner to get a little rough, asking them to do so can feel scarier than bungee jumping—naked. Our egos are often wrapped up in our sexuality. This goes both ways. If you know the only way to get what you want is to spell it out without mincing words, go for it. Using these tactics in tandem can inform your partner of the vibe you want, then give them a road map to make it happen.
But looping in the feelings topic can still make those experiences better as well. This is often in direct opposition to being able to ask for specific sexual techniques. Plenty of us only figured out how to have an orgasm in some accidental way.
I still hold my old showerhead in the highest regard. You should also try to learn more about yourself, whether that means brushing up on anatomy or masturbating more so you can learn what you like. That brings me to my next point. Before you can tell your partner how you want to feel, you have to figure it out yourself. Not only that, you have to learn to feel comfortable with your desires. How could your partner make those feelings a reality? How could you? This kind of thought process opens the door for experimentation on your own.
Bringing up sexual feelings with your partner nudges it open even further. Talking about how each of you wishes to feel can start you down a path to better sexual communication. It might feel weird at first, but I really do recommend it. Having this conversation—and making it an ongoing one—can be a wonderful step to truly understanding your body, moving past shame, and having the sex life you want. Gigi Engle is a certified sex coach, sexologist, educator, and writer living in Chicago. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram GigiEngle.
SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional. It can subvert sexual knowledge gaps. It can help you explore your sexuality. Gigi Engle is a feminist writer, certified sex coach, and sex educator. School, she teaches a variety of classes centered around pleasure, sexual health, and confidence.
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